Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Santacon Sydney 2008!!

pic by Mike Dakinewavamon Kline

Date: Saturday 20th December
Venue: Town Hall further details to follow shortly...!
Email: santaconsydney at gmail DOT com

Santacon is your chance to dress like Santa!

  • You must dress like santa
  • You should Ho-Ho-Ho like Santa
  • You should give out gifts like Santa, think sweeties for the kids, hugs for the grown-ups, and toys for other santa's
  • You should sing carols like Santa

What is Santarchy?

Santarchy takes place in major cities all over the world involving tens of thousands of Santas. It is a non-profit, non-political, non-religious & non-sensical celebration of holiday cheer, goodwill, and fun. There is no good reason to dress up in cheap Santa suits, run around town, give gifts, sing songs, have strangers sit on our laps, and decide who is naughty or nice -- but it's a lot of fun -- so Santa does it anyway. Everyone loves Santa and Santa loves everyone!

Santa's Rules:

1. Be Jolly.

2. Holiday apparel is mandatory. A Santa hat is not enough. Get a Santa suit. Buy a Santa suit. Make a Santa suit. Steal a Santa suit. If you don't have any money, be creative. If you don't have any creativity, slap yourself three times and ask your mom to help you. Glue cotton balls to red boardies. Make it purple. Make it pink. Make it plaid. Already have a Santa suit? Bring spare parts for the Santafication of strangers. Past examples: Santa Claws, Santa Garcia, Santa's naughty little helper, misfit toy, elf, grinch, angel, Jesus, snowman, nutcracker, reindeer, Superman Santa, Chinese Elvis Santa.

3. Twisting the holiday paradigm until it screams for mercy is fun! Getting arrested is not. Santa Claus is friendly, respectful, and cooperative with cops, security guards, park rangers, secret service agents, and store owners and doesn't break any laws!!! Have your own special twisted fun, but DON'T FUCK IT UP FOR THE REST OF US. Our santas do not destroy property, steal merchandise, or do harm to others. The authorities and local businesses usually take Santa's antics in the loving holiday spirit Santa intends, so be nice to them.

Santa's Reminders:

1. The "schedule" is open to liberal interpretation by Santa at all times. There is no Santa in charge to call. If you can't show up for the start, get the mobile number of someone who can help you catch up later.

2. Santa does not make children cry. Really - If you see kids, give them nice toys, lollies, or something pleasant.

3. Santa dresses for all occasions. It's December. Smart Santas dress light, bring cooling devices and WATER. Dress to maximize merriment singing christmas carols in the streets.

4. Bring gifts -- NAUGHTY gifts to give grown ups; NICE stuff to give kids. (see RULE #2 above).

5. Watching Santa get merry is fun. Babysitting Santa while they vomit in an alley is not. Don't be that Santa.

6. Everybody pays for their own drinks. Tip the bartenders generously for putting up with us.

7. Memorise these answers to important questions that may arise:

  • Who's in charge? "Santa"
What organization are you with? "Santa
  • "What are you protesting? "Shitty holiday parties"(note: WE ARE NOT PROTESTERS!! We'd need a permit for that - and something serious to complain about...)
  • How did you get here? "A sleigh and eight tiny reindeer"
  • Where are you going next? "I'm only allowed to tell you if you wear this hat and buy me a beer."
  • Any other question: "HO!" (best coupled with a slight pause and a stupid look on your face). *excerpt taken from Calgary Santas/Perth Santa

  • Finally the Santa Mantra:

    Santa: "What do we want?"

    All Santas: "CHRISTMAS" (shouted)

    Santa: "When do we want it?"

    All Santas: "NOW!!"



    EMAIL: santaconsydney at gmail DOT com

    Carols to be posted at a later date, so RSS to this blog to get the updates.

    Merry Christmas!